Why the Baby Industry Hates Us Fridays

Product: “Sympathy” Daddy Teebumpguy2
The Pitch: Sporting a sympathy [bump] he’s just showing his support. These super funky [bump]-daddy tees give dads-to-be credit for their part. Remember it takes two to tango so let him stand proud and relish in his success with a sense of humor.
Cost: $46

Reasons why this T-shirt should irritate the everloving stuffing out of any pregnant wife if it ever appears in her household:

1. Spending $46 on a novelty T-shirt, when couples staring down the barrel of college tuition costs should be socking away approximately $9,240 a month before their child is even born? Genius.
2. Turning “bump” into an acronym for “baby under manufacturing purposes” is bubblegum blech to begin with. Your man deciding to trot the expression  around town on his chest is a little, er, lack-of-confidence inspiring.
3. The notion that this T-shirt gives a husband “credit for his part.” Because we’re visibly hogging all the credit with our swelling appendages, haywire complexions, and oh-my-God-I’m-gonna vomit facial contortions. Besides, we’re giving you plenty of credit when, after vomiting, we narrow our eyes to slits, poke your chest and say, “You did this to me.”
4. The concept of this T-shirt conveying his sympathy. I’ve been working through the math in my head and I’m not sure how this overpriced, too-cute-by-half T-shirt is supposed to ameliorate pregnant chicks who’ve been dealing with the carnival of delights that includes but is not limited to: sleeplessness, heartburn, nausea, inability to go to the toity but every four days, loss of appetite, ravenous appetite, horrific taste in mouth all day, breakouts, and exhaustion. One’s dude slipping this little number on over the gut that he obtained during too many post-kickball beer pong tournaments “in sympathy” isn’t quite balancing the scales.

You want to show sympathy? Rub her back.

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4 Responses to “Why the Baby Industry Hates Us Fridays”

  1. I-66 Says:

    This guy in looks likely to get Beaten Up for Monthly Pedicures in that shirt. Those camo pants don’t fool me; those Be yoUr ManPris!

  2. Phil Says:

    No self-respecting man would wear this (and, especially not spend $46 for it), and every man thanks the Man Upstairs he doesn’t have to deal with being pregnant and wants nothing to do with it (and in fact, would appreciate if you kept all the complaining down…we’re trying to watch TV!)

  3. Kathryn Says:

    One other problem – I don’t see a bump on the model. That tee would look a million times worse on any man with any actual tummy.

  4. Bridal Bird Says:

    I-66-Ha!

    Phil-It’s like you’re inside my husband’s head. 😉

    K-No doubt. It would look totally creepy, right?

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