Why the Baby Industry Hates Us Friday

babysnuggiesingle And now this is why all of your ocular cavities hate you.

The Peekaru
$79.95

This picture has been making the rounds this week and many alert readers and friends sent it to me. Momentarily forgetting I live in America in 2009, I assumed it was a joke. Of course it’s not. The Peekaru by TogetherBe is a vest that zips over baby carriers, allowing your baby the freedom to stay warm as he pokes his head out and pleads with passersby, “Call the Department of Child Welfare. Call them now! Wait, where the $&@% are you going, dude?! Help meeeee…” Ad copy on the company’s website focuses more on the fact that it’s made from 85 percent recycled material than the actual benefit of using it for your child. Each one “keeps approximately 25 plastic bottles from reaching the landfill,” according to the folks at TogetherBe. Super. Environment first. Baby’s mental health second.

Interestingly, the much-mocked photo above is now missing from the company’s website. Only those showing the baby with its head totally out of the hole—a marginal improvement—are available. Perhaps the company realized when faced with heaping bowlfuls of Internet scorn that something evocative of Total Recall and Alien isn’t likely to ring up a lot of sales on Main Street. This photo is available though and I think the baby’s expression comes closest to capturing the product’s je ne sai qua:

ohgodihatethisthing

“This is my life isn’t it? First it was the organic, fair-trade baby wipes she ordered from the Guatemalan village co-op. Now this. She’s going to write all my college entrance essays isn’t she? Next thing I know I’m 40, my wife is wondering why I have that obsession with gophers and I’m staring in the bathroom mirror wondering where my life went. Someone get me a double bourbon. I beg you.”
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8 Responses to “Why the Baby Industry Hates Us Friday”

  1. Phil Says:

    Yes!

  2. Lacey Says:

    Oh my god… that is frightening!!! (PS- doesn’t that little boy look a LOT like Liam?)

  3. Jason Says:

    I still say the Peekaru rocks. Why does the baby in the first picture look so much happier?

  4. K Says:

    On the micro level, I have a problem with the etymology. Peekaru? Origin, please? Because if it’s got anything to do with kangaroo, they did it wrong.

  5. Phil Says:

    Jason: Because it reminds the baby of when it was born.

  6. jordanbaker Says:

    It’s like a combination of a Papoose and a Snuggie/Slanket!

  7. Big Brother Says:

    With a little special effects and some make up… best Halloween costume EVER!!

  8. Johanna Says:

    Wait, was that photoshopped version of Monte and me a joke? Because um, I didn’t catch the humor in that the first go-round.

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