If you think creating a wedding gift registry is an overwhelming headache, wait until you have a child on the way and ponder the creation of a baby registry. Because while it may be mentally taxing deciding whether to go with the Imperial Scroll or Gilded Lace rim pattern for your salad plates, it’s nothing compared to the one thing that runs through your mind every time your finger hovers over the “Add to Registry” button on a baby registry: “Gee, I wonder if this product will kill my child.”
Before making its way onto the list, every car seat, crib sheet, and crap receptacle must be cross-referenced with Consumer Reports, non-profit safety advocacy associations’ online reports, the federal government, parent listservs, and the Vatican. The latter, incidentally, offers on its website a handy pamphlet titled “Products for Which We Are Frequently Called Upon to Perform Exorcisms.”
Like Dan Akroyd trying to explain to Jane Curtin that any product, even the simple average every day telephone cord, can be dangerous, you suddenly start mulling all possible mishaps. That said, it was a fairly easy decision to pass up the Baby’s First Lawn Darts set. Those just seems unsafe.