By now everybody’s seen the website Why the %#@& Do You Have a Kid?, which is the most disturbing thing on the Internet, and that’s saying a lot considering Michelle Malkin’s on the Internet. From its humble beginnings featuring snapshots of people too young for parenthood, WtFDYHaK devolved into a depressingly well-stocked catalog of ridiculously bad parenting photos and videos. I can’t even go to it anymore because it’s too disturbing. Surely many visitors mutter, “This can’t possibly be real,” as they scroll through.
But once you dip a toe into the gestating world you realize that this type of stuff does really happen. Idiot parents are out there. They walk among us. Specifically, they walked into my doctor’s office waiting room the other day and sat across from me. I’m going to peg her age as early 20s. As her friend burbled about all the best part about being a parent—getting to name the baby and getting presents seemed to be the sum total—she sat there shrugging, face conveying utter disinterest, and saying, “whatever.” What did finally grab her attention was her friend’s cheerful prediction, “And you’re going to get a big belly!” At this the girl stated loudly, “I’m not gaining more than 15 pounds.” My head, along with that of the woman waiting on the adjacent couch, jerked up at this. [Editor’s note: For those of you who don’t know the score on this, getting pregnant means a healthy weight gain of about 25-30 pounds. Fifteen poses serious health risks to the baby.] The girl ranted that she’d already lost five pounds since becoming pregnant and she didn’t intend to gain anything over 15 for the duration and she was sick of people giving her junk about this.
Then the reason for their visit to the doctor that day became apparent. Although the pregnant girl had already had her first sonogram, the friend wanted the doctor to call the sonographer’s office and get her in right away so she “can get a new picture of the baby for a baby book.” The friend wheedled and whined on this point to one of two receptionists behind the desk. The other receptionist? She’d been on the phone for about five minutes with the sonographer’s office already, trying to schedule an emergency appointment for the woman in Exam Room 7 who was having contractions at 18 weeks.
I suspect the woman in Exam Room 7, had she been in the waiting room with the rest of us, might also be contemplating, “Why the $#@& do you have a kid?”