I Say Traditional, You Say Pohtahtoe


Last week, my husband and I got into a discussion about how things will go down in the delivery room when this baby decides to grace us with her presence. I had told him previously that I am all about “traditional” and that I in no way need him loitering about anywhere south of my bellybutton when it’s go time. I’m a firm believer that the sight of such, er, complex goings on during birth can haunt a man for years and besides, I’d want him within grabbing distance so when I’m imploring, wide-eyed, “ICHANGEDMYMINDIDON’TWANTTODELIVERABABY” he can calmly say, “Too late, Sweet Pea,” feed me an ice chip, and smooth back my hair.

However, when he heard “traditional” in my original shpiel he interpreted that somewhat differently, as I learned in last week’s conversation. A rough transcript:

Him: “I’m actually going to be in the room for the delivery?”
Me: (double take) “Yes. Why?”
Him: “I thought you said you wanted it to be traditional.”
Me: (triple take) “I did, but I meant you staying up with me by my noggin’.”
Him: “I thought you meant I’d be out in the waiting room.”
Me: (quadruple take) “WHAT?! No, you cannot be in the waiting room! I said ‘traditional’ not 1950s!”
Him: “Oh. OK.”

And apparently after we had this conversation he actually went and conferred with other dudes at work to see if this was a normal request on my part. There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I’m married to the entire male character lineup on Mad Men.


[STAY TUNED FOR PART II LATER TODAY: Briefed last night that this post was coming (hey, I’m nothing if not fair, especially after he sicced his PR firm on me last time), my husband provided a mock-incensed defense that gave way to what was clearly the heartfelt rationale behind his thought process…]

8 Responses to “I Say Traditional, You Say Pohtahtoe”

  1. Justin Says:

    I hate to admit it…but when I just read that you wanted a “traditional” childbirth, I thought you meant “hubby in the waiting room”, too.

  2. Skywalker Says:

    I can totally see the whole 1950/1960s attitude – pipes a smokin and just pacing and showing off for the guys…traditional? I agree, you should have the hubs within grabbing distance.

  3. Tess Says:

    Hmm. I can think of two men at your husband’s place of work who could answer this question with any degree of credibility. Oh to be a fly on the wall if he consulted any of the others…

  4. K Says:

    Speaking of traditional—have you seen “The Business of Being Born”? My hubby and I watched it this weekend and I think he’ll be haunted for years. He now wants to be in the waiting, rather than delivery, room, when I give birth.

  5. Libba Says:

    There is SO MUCH biology flying around a delivery room, it kind of doesn’t matter WHERE Daddy ends up — just so long as he’s there to tell you what a rock star you are and weep while holding the precious babe in his arms, that’s all that matters…

  6. Part II: I Say Traditional, You Say Pohtahtoe « Baby Bird Says:

    […] Baby Bird « I Say Traditional, You Say Pohtahtoe […]

  7. K Says:

    If I had Don Draper waiting for me, I might be okay with that arrangement. Minus the cheating.

  8. KC Says:

    It’s nice to have them there. Your cheerleader and advocate, all rolled up into one sweating, slightly nauseous man. It’s sweet. Except when they’re holding up one of your numb legs, nurse the other, and you push out other *things* besides the baby. Not that I was ever mortified by such a thing happening.

    Otherwise, it’s awesome.

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