This One We Know

From yesterday’s New York Times crossword puzzle. Thirty-one weeks old and she’s already in the Times. Even mommy and daddy had to wait 30 and 41 years, respectively.

And for the geography buffs, the clue was “Texas/Louisiana border river.”

I Blame the Work Tension

for me thinking the following is even remotely funny to anyone other than my husband and myself. But when you realize that the belly button has developed to a point of ludicrousness you take advantage of that for comic relief. My husband provides the sound effects and soundtrack. I provide the incessant giggling. Dakota provides the blatant disaproval. You can practically hear her tsk tsking, “I just do not think filming one’s exposed belly is appropriate behavior. I’m going to go check Emily Post…” (trots off)

Being Fired Wasn’t In My Birthing Plan

Yet, here we are, a little more than nine weeks away from the baby’s arrival and it appears that within the next 24 hours my union is heading toward a strike. (It’s a tad confusing but here’s the deal: I work for a large, national union. Within that union’s headquarters, I’m one of about 550 workers who are members of a staff union.) Contract negotiations between our staff union and the national union for which we work appear to have broken down almost entirely. Which means as soon as we go on strike, I become an “at will” employee. “At will” = “Fireable.”

Now, I’m a glass-half-full kind of gal so I’m not going to focus on the fact that at best, I’m about to not get my paycheck for the duration of a strike of indeterminate length, and at worst, I will not get my paycheck, retirement benefits, or health care for a determinate length of time with that determined length being forever. Instead, I’ve compiled the seven best things about this situation:

1. If I lose my job, we won’t need to pay for daycare!
2. I can finally put my puffy paint-pen sorority discount to use again. The sign may say “Hey Management, Go **** Yourselves!” but the dot letters and pink posterboard add a nice feminine touch.
3. I’ll get lots of beneficial exercise by walking on a picket line for eight+ hours a day.
4. In protesting health care cuts for dependents, I’ll become the first picketer in history to have a picture of a fetus (my own) on a sign and not be complaining about abortion.
5. After listening to me address a couple hundred people in the atrium of our headquarters about why the CEO is a hypocrite, this baby will likely infer I am either a tough cookie or just plain crazy. Either way, I think it bodes well for an easier time disciplining her later.
6. Apparently if you sing a few songs over and over during pregnancy, babies are more easily soothed by them after being born. But thus far, I’ve been a little slack about singing to her every day. Now I’ll just be able to yell, “Hey hey, ho ho, Disrespect has got to go!” to get her to fall asleep.
7. Contract disputes hurt more than contractions. I know this now.