May The Force Be With You…Or You’re Totally Screwed in the Teen Years

I was ushered into a room I’ve never been in before at the baby doctor office today. One of the doctors is quite the Star Wars fan and has loaded this small room with paraphernalia from the Lucas movies, including the prominent display on the wall directly across from the table of this Star Wars: Episode I poster.


I don’t ask for much when it comes to decor in a treatment room. Maybe a van Gogh “Starry Night” print or a pharmaceutical calendar. Heck, I’d even take one of those nauseating Anne Geddes baby-as-mung bean photographs.

What I’d love not to see is a relentlessly creepy image depicting the potential for unmitigated, throat-crushing future evil within a child raised improperly. ‘Cuz that’s totally what this poster is about. Is this the doctor’s sly way of warning us that we better not slack on bedtimes or our kid is going to end up building a Death Star? One too many cookies and suddenly she’s devoting her days to destroying the Rebel Alliance?

Why not just get right to the point and hang this up?:stewievader

The first time my daughter sasses me by saying “Don’t fail me again, Mother,” I’m marching her right back to the doctor and demanding an explanation.

4 Responses to “May The Force Be With You…Or You’re Totally Screwed in the Teen Years”

  1. Erika Robuck Says:

    Love it!

  2. Cuban Reporter Says:

    While I usually agree with you on many points, I have to strongly disagree with you on this one. Yes, the looming potential of evil is present in this poster, but the focus is on that wee child’s eventual victory over that seemingly omnipotent evil. By fearing the possibility that your child would not turn away from the Dark Side – as young Luke did on that Death Star – you are not only espousing a defeatist philosophy, but showing a lack of faith in your young’un. That’s not only unfortunate, but un-American. You commie.

  3. Skywalker Says:

    No, I see your anxiety. I fear I may have breeded a cross hybrid of Stewie from Family Guy, The Brain (as in Pinky and The Brain), and a child who loves stick figures…my secret kryptonite. Or better put: a child out to get me.

    I think every parent fears their child will be bad (Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker bad) and its on them to create a good balance to make a good person.

    I think you’ll realize it will be okay.

  4. Phil Says:

    Cuban, you are obviously confused. It was the child of that child that ultimately triumphed, over his own father. So it woud be BB’s grandchild who would ultimately rise up to cut down his/her own mother, in the only way he/she knew how to save her.

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